Once every four years, we get the opportunity to watch the best soccer players from all corners of the planet vie for a global title and epic bragging rights. We’re offered one month of stunning plays, emotional national anthems, patriotic pride, and referee controversies.
There’s just one problem: this year, over 50% of the games are during the work day!
So, to help counter this conflict, we’ve provided 9 great excuses to help you sneak out for at least two magical hours.
1. The Emergency Illness
Let’s start with the classic excuse. Perfect for leaving early for those afternoon games, possible maladies include food poisoning, migraine, toothache, allergic reaction, or pinkeye (that’ll get you pushed right out the door). In China, BBC News reports, workers have taken to ordering fake sick notes, some reporters claiming “chronic appendicitis” and suddenly strong “gastrointestinitis.” Get well soon, boys.
2. The Appointment
Another classic, and easily the most believable, claiming an opportunistically-scheduled doctor’s, therapist, or dentist appointment should get you a safe two hours of exuberant “Ole!!!!” Additional benefit: there is always the possibility of follow-up appointments.
3. The Client Meeting
This one knocks down two birds with one stone, as you will both be able to watch the game and get a little business done. The key, of course, is to schedule a very short and snappy client meeting, which will then be followed by plenty of guilt-free(ish) soccer cheering at the nearest sports bar. Bonus points if the place in which you schedule the client meeting is screening the match.
4. The Kid’s In Trouble
This will only work if you have a few mini-me’s out and about, but if you do, it’s a flawless excuse. “I’m so sorry, but my son just got in a bunch of trouble at school!” “I have to go pick up my daughter from ballet, my wife is on a business trip.” “The twins have early dismissal today and their dad’s not feeling very well…” The opportunities are endless.
[RELATED ARTICLE: 11 OUTRAGEOUS EXCUSES EMPLOYEES USE TO GET OUT OF WORK]
5. The Court Date
Admittedly a little harder to pull off, this could afford as much time as needed, especially if you’re dying to catch that enticing double-header. There’s not much wiggle room when scheduling things with government agencies, so let your boss know there’s nothing you could do. Jury duty, parking ticket trial, witness testimony. Have some fun with this one...just make sure the bosses don’t get suspicious.
6. The Apartment Issues
So many things could go wrong at your apartment or house in the middle of the day. Plumbing issues are probably the most popular - an overflowing toilet, lack of running water, or sewage malfunctions take the cake. But, if you want to be more adventurous, take a page out of Cosmo’s book - an employee claimed a bird flew through her window and it took hours for the super to arrive and clean up the broken glass.
7. The Work From Home
For those whose bosses are a little more like Big Brother or those who just want to watch all three games (and the commentary, of course), this option is perfect. For many companies, WFH is a completely viable option, and you don’t have to feel bad about duping management. Just spend the day watching soccer and the interim working on that pressing project. No one ever has to know.
8. The Traffic Jam
This works well for those morning and lunchtime games. Head out just before the match and make sure to encounter considerable transportation woes on the way back to work. If you drive, traffic jams, car accidents, or carpool miscommunications should go over just fine. If not, you can always chalk it up to train delays (make sure, however, that the bosses stayed in. Otherwise, this one could get you in big trouble).
9. The Fido
Lastly, our culture’s obsession with pets (my own included) affords a particularly useful excuse: Fido (or Spike, or Madeleine, or Benjy Franklin III) needs to make it to the vet, ASAP. Any number of things could go wrong, no one at work is going to see the repercussions of this “veterinary visit,” and everyone has a soft spot for our furry friends. Give your pet the thanks s/he deserves by watching the game on the couch together, ice cold beer in hand. It doesn’t get any better than that.
Good luck! Sound off on your favorites in the comments below.